Spring Cleaning Heart and Mind

While I was putting together my spring cleaning checklist this year, I found myself thinking it would be so nice if I could do some spring cleaning within myself and not just my home.   

Since I have always included a quote for all my posts,   I shared the one above that best describes my thoughts today and the task at hand.

To say last year was an awful one is such an incredible understatement for so many.   For those who lost family members and friends to the virus there is not a word in the English language that can describe the year they’ve just lived through.  I am humbled by the way so many have picked themselves up and gone forward again.  I am heartbroken for those who still cannot see a clear path.  Prayers!

Even those, like me, who lost no one they knew personally, felt a sense of despair. I truly believe that no one emerged from 2020 unscathed. Because of that, I feel there is some housekeeping to do within ourselves in one way or another.

For my part, that means I need to find my way back to the place where I can open up my heart to others effortlessly.  To accomplish that, I know I first need to clear my mind of the bitter thoughts that have clouded it for all these months.

While political beliefs have sown so much division between us all, I believe it was fear that has caused the most damage.  Fear of the unknown, fear of dying or losing a loved one, and fear of watching the life we created for ourselves destroyed by an unseen element.

Putting that fear aside is an incredibly hard thing to do.  Even harder, is to let go of the bitter feelings that fear inspired.  

I’ve lost sight of friendships that were once so important.  I simply could not get past the fact that we had differing opinions on what was happening to all of us.  It was impossible to understand how something that was so clear to me in one way could be seen as the exact opposite by someone else. Not just in the political sense but with every aspect of life itself.

I have lived through many elections in my life and I have voted both ways.  When the election was over, no matter the outcome, life went on.  Life just went on. This one was different. With the pandemic, the shut downs, and the protests life cannot just go on unless we all put in the work that is so necessary to heal the divisions that remain today.

I fully admit that before 2020, I was living pretty much worry free in my little bubble.  Such a safe place to be but an incredibly selfish one as well. I felt secure in the thought that I was doing my job. I was taking care of my family and my friends. My bubble was my world. Today I no longer believe that’s enough. The world is much smaller than I thought and there is no reason that my bubble cannot grow to encompass more of it.

We are all a product of how we’ve been raised.  I believe hate must be weeded out one family at a time.  I believe each generation will play the cards they are dealt a little better than the one before  them.  

There is much that can be learned from the older generation but there is much to be learned from the next one too.  The old “ back in my day, we…. “ is fine as long as we understand that is the past.  The problems facing today’s generation demands a different solution than we can offer. They will find their way and use all that we have taught them and their own life experiences (yes, they have those!) to do what they need to do.

This is not meant to be a political post, nor a religious one.  It is simply my attempt to verbalize the inner struggle I am going through while I set about spring cleaning my heart and mind.

So… if I have upset you with my views I’m sorry.  If I have distanced myself from you, I am sorry for that too.  Most of all, if I did not understand your struggles, I would like the chance to remedy that.  

My simple prayer going forward is this:  God help me to find the strength inside to forgive and to ask for forgiveness myself.   Help me to know how I can be there for others and make a real difference. Let me view differing opinions with knowledge rather than judgement, and above all, let my heart and mind be cleared of anything other than love.  

It’s a new year and a beautiful new season! I am determined to welcome it into my heart as I will welcome it into my home.  It’s time! Let go, look forward, live.